When I too thought Elon the 21st century equivalent of Einstein and Edison jelly rolled into one! There's just no stopping this guy's sheer, unadulterated genius!!!
Then the sheen started to slowly, then rapidly dissipate. His beautiful Model 2 Roadster of 2017 with specs up the wazoo was promised to go into mass production in 2020, make that 2021, 2022- do I hear 2023, 2024? Certainly 2025... Hey, check out the all new, redesigned 2026 with- Rocket Boosters!!! Scheduled for delivery in... in... lemme get back to ya!
Then there was the... HyperLoop! Which would quickly and efficiently revolutionize commuting on a scale not to be believed- would ya believe a two mile test track?
And then there's... Twitter X! The young, capable futurist really did things right on that one; proving not only his ability to downsize corporate waste into a lean, efficient enterprise- but to make it spit out money as never before... particularly his own!
But those are just a scant few of this miracle man's many innovative models of folly and failure- all beautifully wrapped in the shiniest bullshit money can buy! His ultimate ruse was his fast and furious vehicle of bureaucratic duplicity- the silver bullet called... DOGE! Advertised as that which would save us all untold billions, cut waste and transform Washington into a dynamo of streamlined government competence... we instead got a cover for someone to quash every government investigation into his multiple criminal business practices and crooked dealings! While at the same time: cutting USAID (.5 of 1%) of the federal budget (resulting in the estimated deaths of literally millions the next few years), disposing of pesky regulatory and investigatory commissions (who cares about screw worms and explosive diarrhea)- and who needs anything or anyone investigating fraud! The US military has never passed an audit- so why start now?!? And just how did non-governmental agents (incl- Big Balls), completely outside the legal bounds of federal law and regulation, get to decimate, undermine and terminate the lawful mandates of a duly elected, legislative body called Congress?!?
Yes, sir- can't wait to see what else we can expect from this god sent visionary from the future. We can only continue to thank, salute (ya know the kind) and fund, his life long dedication to our best interests! Afterall, we are scheduled to get men on Mars by 2025, 20...







