Friday, June 2, 2023

Think Quick...

Photo: © Stan Banos

Catholicism has this particularly peculiar practice called "confession" where one proclaims your sins to a priest in a darkened booth, and he, representing The Almighty himself, then absolves you of said sins- until you show up the next time with a brand new batch of more, worse or same. I was standing in line waiting to go into the confessional once, maybe around fifth grade, desperately trying to figure out exactly what to proclaim I was guilty of. I finally, somewhat hesitantly, copped to having impure thoughts,* even though I wasn't quite sure exactly what the hell that entailed, just thought it sounded all encompassing enough, yet somehow, vaguely specific enough, so that the priest would accept it at face value without questioning further- questions concerning the details of which I would have absolutely no idea of... Fortunately, it worked, I think we both fully realized we were in a no win situation which could only get tragically, or at best comically worse should one enquire further. 

As a matter of protocol, priests are not allowed to divulge our transgressions to the authorities, not even if you're a serial killer, not even if you're a fellow priest buggering little boys. Wonder what the penance is for those two "Mortal" Sins? Gotta be a helluva lot more than the coupla Hail Mary's and Our Father's that my "Venial" Sins usually garnered. 

*DISCLAIMER: I do not by any means mean to imply that I originated that oft used pre/pubescent phrase, it was, as I now recall, the most ubiquitous of go to avoidance terms.

2 comments:

  1. Well, there's also the catch-all of "inherited sin". But if it's inherited and foisted off on us while we were still in the womb, then why the hell should we have to pay for it?

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  2. Ah, yes... "Original Sin." The two word, nip it in the bud, no further explanation needed explanation for why we were born to suffer, persevere and suffer anew until we die...

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