Of Biblical Proportions...

This one's got a whole lotta truth to it... 

Photos: © Stan Banos

Can't say I've ever been much of a Bible thumper, it is one curious book though- if only for the way so many choose to claim it their own and twist, bend and pervert it to whatever suits their immediate needs, no matter how trivial or grandiose. The South swore it blessed and supported slavery, more recently, Little Beauregard claimed it backed him up 110%! There's just no end to what this book can: denounce, justify, support and condemn...

The Good Book is nevertheless filled with some pretty good stories designed to teach your average Joe a thing or two- if ya don't take it too seriously (eg- talking snakes, Adam and Eve and dinosaurs walking around together 6,000 yrs ago). I'm not much into the fire and damnation stuff, but I am pretty partial to that community organizer, Jesus fellow- a real Lefty Radical long hair if ever there was, and inexplicably usurped by just about every single authoritarian blowhard who ever did live! Go figure...

There is a bone or two that I do have to pick even with Jesus though. For instance, there's Matthew 6:26 where he tells us "don't worry, be happy," just look at the birds who his father so amply provides for. Now, I've done just that on many an occasion, and lemme tell ya- from the lowliest pigeon to the mightiest eagle... those guys are constantly at each other's throats for the smallest tidbits imaginable. Really bad, piss poor example! Gotta come up with something, anything better than that left over loser of a yarn if ya wanna sell utopia. Personally, I'm thinking he musta been distracted from his original script on that one, perhaps a certain someone in the crowd caught his eye, lost concentration and decided to wing it (and not very well)- the guilt of which which led him to...

The all time winner in my book, Matthew 5:28; which pretty much flat out asserts that if one just looks at another woman- automatic... adultery! DANG!!! Double DANG!!! I mean C'mon... if anyone should know- that doesn't exactly provide a whole lotta incentive NOT to do something. I mean (and I certainly don't think I'm the first to say it) if you're gonna burn in hell for just admiring the scenery, ya might as well do the deed and burn with a few fond memories...