Can't Say I Wasn't Warned...

 

Best Pick Up line ever? Photo: © Stan Banos

But then, people say shit all the time we don't mean, half mean or just regularly bitch about... I, uh, do it all the time. But after years of sporadically muttering "I can't live in a city anymore-" The Wife finally made good on that word, and up and left. And so I find myself in Act III of my life, ensconced in an SRO- so much for getting old together. I thought we made a good team, made each other laugh- but I guess there's more to that location, location, location mantra than I thought...

Although 'invited' to join her, I chose to stay behind, certainly not out of any great love or fealty to San Francisco and its gleaming tech towers above shit stained streets, but because I am a city boy- and San Francisco is as small town as I can possibly endure. We lived in Tuscon once for a year, and much as I love the scenic Southwest- towards the end, it was great to move out and back into an actual walkable city, a real city. I've even thought of returning to my original stomping grounds in NYC, but that city had already departed me by the time I departed it. It is every bit as expensive, and I actually happen to like my job, and at my age (with Medicare looming), I am not about to embark on a new career with a blue vest, exclaiming... "Hello, and Welcome to..." 

Still, this is not how I envisioned things would... end. I very much wanted to keep adding to our list of shared memories, adventures and experiences, she was the reason I could smile at the end of the day- no matter how bad it had been. The noble part of me says I want her to be happy no matter the personal cost, that is what true love is, letting go- the selfish part says, uhhh, whatever happened to the little "for better or for worse" jingle, what was that all about? 

I've heard Buddhists believe that life is about loss, throw in I'll no longer be waking with best bud  Nelson, our one eyed, cat/dog hybrid wonder (least he acts it). Have no idea what the next ten years will be like, 'cept to say they're nothing what I had imagined them to be- but all I need do is but step outside to see just how much more fortunate I still am than so many, many others... Addendum: Thank you to everyone who emailed privately.

Happy Thanksgiving!