Along with the increasing variety of everyday aches and pains, getting older also brings new and wondrous ways of experiencing excruciating levels of pain never before imagined: kidney stones, Shingles and lately... Charlie Horses! I had heard these were caused primarily because of dehydration, so I drank more water before retiring for the evening, and woke up and pissed more for my trouble! And yet, and yet- Charlie and his horses continued to frequent my calves!
If you've never had one- they are rather unremarkable, but truly memorable events in one's personal life of woe. If you're blessed (as am I), they awake you in the dead of sleep with a very distinct signature- this sudden tightening of your calf muscle. It's a definite discomfort, but it's just the warning shot for the inevitable shark bite deluxe that is about to clamp down and overtake you for around 10 or 15 seconds that will truly expand your concept of time. It's almost comical since the second you feel that preliminary tightening, you know the wave of PAIN is coming fast and there's not-a-damn-thing you can do about it* in... 1, 2, AAAGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Who ever thought that a simple muscle cramp could be so utterly, devastatingly... PAINFUL! Anyway, if you do get them, it also means you're deficient in Magnesium- 80% of the American public is. And the most important thing to all this- some heart attacks can also be construed as... muscle cramps!!! So... take your damn Magnesium...
When you get leg cramps drink some of the juice from a pickle jar. Cramps will be gone almost immediately.
ReplyDeleteUhmmm... U do realize that by the time I crawl over in absolute agony to guzzle down said pickle jar- the horse will have long trotted away?
ReplyDeleteThink I'll stick to the magnesium.