Date With Irony

No humans were harmed in the taking of this photo.                 Photo: © Stan Banos

So I'm headed out to the semiannual Naked Bicycle Ride for a possible photo op. I've been to these before, and unfortunately, it's not a very big affair, a small handful of guys, ummm... mostly around my age. It is what it is. But these days, with downtown San Francisco a ghost town, and photo ops of any kind slim-pickins, off I went. As expected, didn't get a damn thing before they rode off on their merry way, and being such a gorgeous day after weeks of water clogging rain, I was happy to amble on myself.  

A block or so down the line, I encountered my first real opportunity, and camera in hand took three quick exposures as I stealthily made my way past the romantic duo. I doubted I had gotten anything worthwhile cause of all the hair (not unlike my own back in the day) and shadow that blocked any meaningful facial interaction between the two. So I was encouraged to discover that one exposure revealed just enough facial highlight and eye detail to crack the void.

Anyway, I made it down to the end of the wall bordering a public plaza (pictured above to the right) when two Security Guards, looking all the world like they graduated HS a year ago, approached and proclaimed: 

SG: You can't do that!
SB:  Do what?
SG: Go around taking pictures of people.
SB:  Why not?
SG:  It's against the law.
SB:  No, it's not. The law is: if you're on public property and it's in public view-
        you can take a picture. That's the law.
SG:  We don't care about the law- you have to ask permission first.
SB:  (Well, so much for the concern of law.)
SG:  Look how upset you've made them!
SB:  What are you talking about? 

At this point I turn around and the couple who were oblivious when I had passed were now yelling some indiscernible shit in our direction- the two asshats before me had actually gone up to them and told them god knows what about the unspeakable horrors I had visited upon them.

SB: I didn't upset them, they didn't even know I took their picture- you were the ones who went completely outta your way to upset them!

Now this is when the 'conversation' went from thoroughly annoying to something way more bonkers than... a bunch of old guys riding their bicycles completely jaybird naked in public. One of the security guards proceeds to tell me, "Dude, I was only kidding when I told you to take a picture of them!" Wait, wha...??? "I can't believe you actually took the picture!" I then recalled that walking past them, my failing ears had heard the word "picture," not knowing exactly what was being said or even if they were addressing me, someone else or just talking amongst themselves- I just smiled, attentive to the task at hand: checking my exposure, angle of approach, etc. 

So, it turns out that the dumberer part of Dumb and Dumber had actually dared me to take the photo- and were now actively scolding me for doing it? What the!?! Did I really hear that? Did he really say that? I kinda phased out temporarily at the sheer irony lunacy of the situation; meanwhile, they're continuing to admonish me for my sins against humanity. Attempting some basic return to sanity, I desperately attempted an ever so brief history of logic, law and photography which abruptly ends when the bigger one proclaims, "He's crazy." Exasperated (you can't cure stupid), I turn about to leave, notice they're following, stop to take a quick (insurance) exposure of them before I again resume walking and disappear into the crowd. 

Too damn nice a day for them to spoil- and I got the picture. 

PS- An aside to non-photographers: most photographs do not turn out well, even if technically 'perfect' (ie- exposure, focus, etc). There can be problems with composition, distance, angle, lighting, timing, etc. Sometimes I do ask permission of a subject- if I sense there is something there that might be better brought out if I engage the person's active cooperation. But usually, asking permission just utterly destroys the initial spontaneity and composition, the original 'magic' of the totality of the scene that attracted you to the possibility in the first place- and you end up with something highly contrived, unoriginal and unimaginative. People put on their mask, we all do. Sometimes, those asked agree to be photographed (which is no guarantee of success), sometimes they refuse and you wish them a nice day.

A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.   
 -George Bernard Shaw  

PPS- Below is the letter I sent to management at the SF Ferry Building where these security guards appear to be based...

Dear Sir or Madam,

It would be of service to the general public if you instructed your security guards as to the law(s) concerning photography in a public setting, and as how to deal with the public in general. This is in regard to an incident that occurred outdoors, adjacent to the Ferry Building (check photo enclosed in link for exact location) at approx 12:30pm on Saturday, 2/10/2024. 

I'm assuming this event occurred on public property since there were no discernible private property borders or designations and it happened on a public waterfront on a public walkway bordering the farthest side of a public plaza adjacent to said building. Furthermore, the issue of private property was never raised by the security guards in question. I've included details of said conversation in the link containing my post...

Basically, the law in the US states that anyone on public property can photograph anyone or anything in public view- save for national security concerns, and I think we can both agree that was not a concern here. Nor does anyone have to ask permission of the person(s) being photographed (unless for commercial purposes, which this most assuredly is not); this permission myth is a fallacy which has metastasized throughout the general public. Security guards dealing with tourists, residents and the public at large however should have some perfunctory knowledge of the aforementioned. Common sense itself dictates... just think if you first had to ask permission of any and every recognizable person pictured in any photo taken by any tourist at any tourist destination!

In short, I (as well as two other people) were unnecessarily harassed by two of your security guards for taking a photo in public. The two people photographed had no idea I photographed them, and as an aside, I am a photographer who has been published and exhibited, and have been doing this for a good fifty years. Not only did the security guards in question upset the two individuals pictured by telling them god knows what- but they then proceeded to accuse me of being the person who went out of their way to upset them! They insisted that I had to ask permission first, and when I tried to inform them of what the law actually was, they replied that, "We don't care about the law" and for good measure added, "You're crazy!" Actually, the 'conversation' was considerably more disturbing than I allude to here- read details in post at link...

I don't wish these two individuals ill, they were both quite young and one was at least trying to remain polite, although their dogged aggressiveness and inexperience in an area they knew little about reflects a definite lack of training which needs to be addressed. 

Sincerely,
Stanley Banos